I love this portrait painting for so many reasons. The title of this painting reflects my creative journey in completing it. “To overcome in battle, to defeat in a conflict, and to gain mastery!” This painting was born out of a personal challenge that I had set out for myself.
Encaustic painting is a technique in which pigments are mixed with hot liquid wax and applied with a pallet knife. Painting with wax is a slow and challenging process that requires a buildup in layers of wax because the wax dries within seconds of application to the canvas. Drawing portraits required me to learn how to grid, proper sighting and measurements, facial proportion, linear perspective etc.
Why did I choose something so difficult and challenging for myself? I had been an artist for 15 years, never drawn or painted a portrait, never experimented with encaustics and I had an opportunity to learn both techniques from an amazing teacher. I am also a soul who seeks out personal growth and evolution. I love to dig deep and stretch my capacity in knowledge and ability. And boy, did I have to dig deep with this one.
The level of difficulty and the tenuous process of this painting triggered in me raw emotions and feelings of not being good enough as an artist, fear of failure, shame, embarrassment, and vulnerability that had to be acknowledged and processed as I created. It took time in contemplation and meditation alone and amazing thought-provoking discussions with my teacher to not quit. It required me to let down my ego, my need to control, to be perfect, and to release expectations and outcomes. It taught me to be present, to breathe, to let go of resistance, and to go with the flow. It strengthened my resolve, expanded self-love and self-acceptance. Imperfection in all its glory is beautiful!
Vanquish is 12x12, Encaustic on Encausticbord and available for purchase.
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